Saturday, October 31, 2009

Life's moving on From Randolph to Brush

Schwan's Banquet with Marvin Schwan 1985 to 1990?
Rita and Michael, he was always eating
After we bring Michael home in July, Rita gets to take care of 2 small girls Alicia 5 and Ashley almost 2 and me almost grown up at 28, Rita is 27, and we've been married 8 years. Well back in those days only the Rich had central air so we were rich but not in cash so we had 1 window AC in our front living room and a house full of fans, you see I worked all day and left early am when it was cool and came home late in the evening 11pm-1am cool again, so I thought it was fine, not Rita, the heat and her did not get along. Especially after having Michael and being house bound for a while. Rita's parents always came down and spent some time helping her out with all the fun of running the Boyles household. Lets see Rita's daily chores starts out with by getting my cloths out for work, make me some coffee,make my lunch or lunches as I had double overnights every other week, do the Schwan's paperwork, take care of 3 kids, clean the house, talk on the phone, drive down to get the mail, deposit the Schwan's money, make meals, make me a plate for when I get home and wait for me to get home, Wow, she did not have a boring life. With all that, Rita did a fantastic job of running our household, now she did have 1 downfall balancing our checkbook, never happened the whole time we lived in Randolph.
About this time everyone in Schwan's is getting look at for promotion's, 1st to go is Randy and Donna Page, then Jon and Jeanie Schnoor ( I know I can't believe it either), well what about Mike and Rita, it seems I have a big mouth and when I drink I get cocky. I would still be there if it weren't for Rita as she always stood by my side and kept me going in the right direction by telling me how proud she was of me or disappointed when I drank and too look at my actions through other people's viewpoint. Which was hard for me as I only saw my way, Rita was a very patient, Loving, motivator, and the Best wife any man could hope for. We would take a walk around Randolph on Sunday evening and talk about our hopes, our dreams and where we would end up next year, then next year we would take the same walk and wonder whens our turn? It's our turn 11/1989, I get promoted to OJT manager and will be in training for 6 months and gone for week to weeks at a time, with never a complaint from Rita, just open arms when I finally come home again. Rita wasn't in my classes to keep reminding me to keep my big mouth shut, as I always spoke my mind and Did Not like authority until I respected that person, and to top it off I only wanted to be promoted close the the mountains somewhere, I was offered areas like North Dakota Nope!, Clovis New Mexico Heck No!, Finally Brush Colorado comes up on the radar screen, I remember Al Bussman taking me out for breakfast in Marshall Mn to talk to me about it, (Al was the original Division Manager who hired me and now was a Regional Manger who had Colorado), I asked Al if it was close to the mountains and his answer was No but you can see them from there. So off we go to Brush Colorado to meet with Bob Ludewig and check out Brush, population 5000, movie theater, Pizza Hut(Rita's in Love with it already), it was a farm community on the plains of Colorado, great schools and great people, only 1 thing Al said I could see the mountains from there, what he didn't tell me was I had to be on my roof at sunset to see them! Ha. We leave our beautiful Home in Randolph which we paid $26000 for in 1983 and put $12000 sweat equity in it, and sell it for $35000 in 1990 and land in Brush Colorado on April 19th 1990 with our 3 kids, a dog, a 1970 Chevy pickup with a camper on it, a trailer with 2 motorcycles and Rita car a 1986 Pontiac 6000, when you get promoted with Schwan's they pack and move everything for you, all we had to do was pack our cloths we needed for the trip, nice little perk. I need to back track a little to lead to the rest of the story. I bought our 1970 Chevy pickup with a camper on it in South Dakota after a banquet and income tax coming in for $2500, it was about 1985,you see I had taken Rita camping a few times and she was not into sleeping on the ground and dealing with the whole tent thing, so I thought that if we bought a camper she would enjoy going more, well she did until we started feeling the camper up with kids. We only had Alicia when we bought it and now have Ashley and Michael, Well Michael took the front seat with me and Rita and had to put Alicia and Ashley in the back when we went anywhere, and after we got there after about 2-3 days Rita would get claustrophobic and didn't wont to go anywhere in the truck after awhile. The only thing I didn't like about camping was finding the right spot or over crowded camp grounds. Had to insert this as it will lead to our decision to buy the cabin. Take Care everyone, the Holidays are coming and its our favorite time of year. We are heading back to Sioux Falls for Thanksgiving with all the kids ad spending Christmas at the cabin, I will be having a party for Rita on her birthday 12/11 at the cabin also, and will have it totally completed by then. Just FYI, Everyone has an open invitation to the kids cabin, so if you don't get an invitation, invite yourself, and we would Love to have you anytime, Evan at Christmas,(cabin can sleep 20+ on real beds and more if we count air mattress or the 5 couches) That's our Rita's Way. That's it for now, Love Mike and Family


5 comments:

JUANITA said...

Dear Mike,
I don't have a lot of time to write just now, but wanted to tell you it has been SOOOOOO long since we have checked out your blog. Your writing brought tears to my eyes as I read your memories. You really have to be one of the most sensitive and expressive men out there. I loved the photos of your family and especially the photo of Rita holding the baby. She really was such a cute young thing.

I am sure that you continue to miss her like crazy. How does one adapt to life without ones soulmate...best friend....comrade...defender....lover, protector, and so on and so forth? It is so good that you have your children and grandchildren there for you and you for THEM as well!

It really is so sad that Rita had to endure all she did. The only good thing about it was that she got to be the recipient of your display of affection right up until her final exit.

I will write more very soon. Please find out how you can save all your writings. You and your children will cherish all these thoughts when they are re-read years from now.

We send you our love. Hang in there Mike. Rita is still with you, whether you can see her or not.

Love and hugs...Al and Juanita

Rita said...

Yeepee Thanks Juanita, You keep me goin Love Mike and Family

JUANITA said...

Hey Mike,
I have been out watering this a.m. in our courtyard and have been thinking of you and Rita non-stop since reading your blog yesterday.

I have to tell you that when you were writing of how you and Rita were walking around the park one night wondering when it was going to be "your turn" for a promotion, it was at probably that precise moment that on our end, the conversation was animated by Al saying "I want that guy. I just wish he wasn't so darn set on those western mountains". He talked of you and Rita a lot, and absolutely KNEW that you would make an excellent manager. The delay came from YOU because you were so dern particular about where you would go!!!! I can remember Al fussing about that. He knew you were a winner and he wanted to tap into your talents for his area, but he knew that he didn't have too many available mountains in the areas that came open. He recognized in you, a winning quality in your humor, your ability to communicate, your warmth, and your intelligence. You are a perfect example of how visualization works in our life. You had a vision of living by the mountains, and guess where you are now? You had a vision of a successful future and you got it. You saw your dreams in your minds eye and were willing to wait for it. Perhaps this is why they say that patience is a virtue?

I have been thinking of how difficult this time without Rita has been for you. I am sure it is such a void that you try to fill in so many ways. Your grief is palpable in your writings and it touches our hearts to feel that grief along with you.

For what it is worth, it may help for you to know that your friends recognize that what you had in your relationship with Rita was an enormous gift. Not very many people find exactly that one perfect person to walk by our sides with us in our journey through life. You did and Rita did. You could argue the point that the partnership just didn't last long enough and that she was taken away too soon. That is an obvious truth. On the other hand, the fact that you were privileged enough to experience that kind of love, however short or long the time frame, it certainly seems to have Gods hand in it.

We live in a world where love is a word that is thrown around a lot. We love this person and that person and we love our new house or our new dress, and so on and so forth. But TRUE LOVE, the pure, unselfish, devoted kind of love that certain couples have the privilege of experiencing, is just not that common. In fact, it is a very rare thing.

No matter what happens in your future as you go forward with your life, you can bask in the knowledge that you were one of the very "few" who got to experience love on so many different levels.

Rita died, but the love you shared with you did not. It still exists, but in an entirely different way. You see it in the laughter of your children and grandchildren. You see it when you light your granddaughters birthday candles. You see it when your chidren reach out to you to comfort you in this time where your loss still feels so enormous. Your grief is enormous because the gift of Rita's love was also enormous. Grief goes hand in hand with the size of our gifts in life when they are taken away from us.

Al and I are still so sorry about you losing Rita. She really was a very fun loving, LIFE loving person. None of us understand why the Rita's of this world sometimes leave us so soon. But, one thing I am sure of.....None of us are ever unchanged after having known her. I would imagine this is especially true for you and your children.

We send you much love and much sympathy knowing how much you miss her still.

We will keep on praying for you.

Put your left hand on your right shoulder and your right hand on your left shoulder and squeeze REALLY hard. You have now been hugged by the Bussmanns.

Love, Juanita and Al

Unknown said...

Well Mr.Mike,

I am finally checking the blog, I know don't fall off your chair! I found myself looking back on those Randolph days, special times I will never forget. I have been watching the calendar, I ALWAYS remembered Rita's birthday, it has been etched in my mind since I met her. And she NEVER forgot mine. Guess that is what you do when you love someone. I can't tell you how often I still reach (only for a second) for the phone to call. I miss her so much. I have no words to even express how I miss her. I do know one thing though, she sure got you straightened out! How would I ever know that years later the jerk that came into my house for his first dinner with us and walked through my house with wet snow falling off all over would turn out be my husband's best friend and Rita mine? I guess you just don't know those things. Jon and I are thinking of you, praying for you, love you so much!

Amy Lenhoff said...

Hey Mike,
It's always good talking to you and giving you a hard time! What I miss is Rita in the background putting in her 2 cents! She always had to tell you the way it really was and and I really miss that. You remember who she dreamt about and said was her favorites, don't you? That was such a funny phone conversation. I'll never forget it!
Rita had one of the quickest wits I have ever seen. And she used it all for good! She was so funny and I can just hear her laugh! Sometimes I hear that laugh and smile.
You two were always an inspiration to Wayne and I in the way you loved each other. I loved the way you were so faithful in the little things with each other. It was refreshing to be around and you didn't make us sick with too much mush! Well, Mike you tried but Rita had too much class for that!
Now that I found your blog, I will save it as one of my favorites and come back often. We love you Mike and all your family. You feel like family to us. See ya, Amy